Inspiration for today, and every day…

I came across this article that a friend had posted on Facebook…all I can say is WOW…

Life – the most ugly and most beautiful thing in the universe. By nature, all living things are imperfect. Every living thing meets its end sooner or later – even the universe itself will tear apart and, one day, die.

Everything dies; it’s the fate we are all arriving at, closer every day. Yet, at the same time, beauty is only as beautiful as it is mortal. Things that never die can never really be appreciated for their beauty, as they don’t beckon to be seen and loved before their end.

Things that never die, never really live. It’s living that is beautiful and as human beings, we know how to live life to the fullest.

We live life the best way anything can – we live by constantly making mistakes, constantly faltering, constantly changing our paths and directions in life, and constantly judging our each and every move. We live to blunder and to learn from our mistakes.

Making mistakes is a necessary part of life as they not only teach us, but they bring us a step closer to finding ourselves. Being human can make appreciating our lives difficult – many really do have difficult lives.

I’d even say that we all have a difficult life, as difficulty is a matter of perspective and our perspectives are always yearning for more beauty, more success, more prosperity.

The thing to keep in mind is that beauty, success and prosperity are only as good as their counterparts: the lack thereof. It’s the void that we feel moving along our path in life that allows us to truly appreciate what our lives become.

It’s having nothing that will allow you to appreciate everything. It’s failing miserably over and over again that will allow you to succeed. It’s struggling and losing that will allow you to prosper and find happiness.

Everything in your life must have happened in order for you to exist – every single, little thing. You would not be the exact same person if any of your past experiences were different. Even the littlest, most unpleasant things have a way of shaping us into the individuals we were always meant to be.

The greatest moments of clarity in your life will come when you look back at your journey and conclude that it was all necessary and that it’s all beautiful.

That moment you realize that your difficult youth was necessarily difficult.

It’s when we are youngest that we learn most. Life teaches us lessons with rapid regularity. The older we get, the less frequent these lessons become. From the day you are born, all the way through your 20s is when you will decide the person you will be for the rest of your life.

The things you’ve experienced, the things you’ve tried and seen have established the core person you are right now. One day you will likely look back at it all – all the fun and all the hardship – only to accept that it all must have happened, that it was all completely necessary.


That moment you realize if you hadn’t failed miserably, you would have never learned your lesson.

People fail all the time – often failing multiple times at the very same things. Failing is one of the greatest things in the world, as it reminds us how imperfect we are. It reminds us how much we need to learn in order to become the people we wish to be.

Some of your largest failures in life will become your greatest assets. Some day you will realize that if you had never failed, then you would have never succeeded.


That moment you realize that a broken heart has changed your life forever.

A broken heart – whether your own or otherwise – will change you forever. It will change the fabric of your being and will turn you into an entirely different person.

A broken heart is one of the most emotionally debilitating experiences in the world, only falling second to breaking the heart of the person you love.

Having your heart broken stays with you until someone else mends it, but breaking the heart of the person you love stays with you for the rest of your life. It can be a brutal misery, but believe me when I tell you that it’s a necessary one.


That moment you realize your “dream job” was never really your dream job.

It takes some people longer than others to arrive at their purpose in life – it’s not anyone’s fault, as finding our purpose in life is found just as much outside of us as it is inside of us.

But experiencing that moment of realization, of realizing that what you once thought was your purpose in life is not at all your true purpose in life, is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world.

Often we fail at either reaching or succeeding in our dream jobs because there is something more, something greater, waiting for us.


That moment you realize your best friends aren’t your friends at all.

Throughout life, we go through more friends than we go through pairs of jeans. Most of the people we once thought would be there to support us will one day abandon ship and leave us to drown.

Realizing that someone who you thought was your good friend is actually no friend at all is one of the most important lessons of your life. You’ll realize that it’s better not to have any friends at all than to have impostors.

And those friends who are your true friends you’ll learn to appreciate even more.


That moment you realize that being lost for so long was the only way to find the person you are meant to be.

If you are never lost, then you can never be found. If you pretend to have it all together for the sake of holding face then you will fail at life entirely.

You have to accept that you are lost and then find your way through the fog.

One day, assuming you never stop searching, you will find the person you were meant to be and you will accept the necessity of your lengthy search.


That moment you realize the love of your life was still waiting for you.

Human beings compare everything to the things they already know. Often we will find that something we thought was so incredible was actually quite common and un-special.

The person you thought was the love of your life may have only seemed so great because you haven’t met the real love of your life.

The day you meet the person you should spend the rest of your life with is the day you feel more alive than ever before – and probably more alive than you will ever feel again.


That moment you realize your world just fell apart entirely, and you’re still standing.

Life is incredibly complex – I’m not even talking about life as a whole, but each of our personal lives. There are so many aspects and so many details that make up who we are as individuals that it can be nearly impossible to hold everything together.

Sometimes holding it all together isn’t possible. Sometimes things are meant to fall apart and break. Sometimes the life you are leading is so far from the life you are meant to be living that losing everything is the only way you can make it out on top.

The moment you realize that not even loss itself can stop you, that sadness, despair, anger and fear cannot hold you back, is the moment you become perfect. Perfectly flawed, but perfect nonetheless.

J

One of my favourites…

Below is a blog post of mine from many moons ago but I think the story is really relevant, not only to relationships but in life, women always…UN PACK THE BOX…

I was told this tale many many times over the years and it
is soooooo true!

A guy meets a girl at a bar one night, they get along well,
share a kiss even. He takes her number and says he will call her the next
day….

The same girl, after giving this guy her number, floats home
on a cloud.. She gets into bed with a massive grin on her face and plans to
dream about Mr Delicious who she met at the bar..

The guy in this story, is still at the bar getting wasted
with his mates while they are deciding how the hell they are going to get home!

The girl wakes up the next day with the same massive grin on
her face. She lies in bed and she starts the day dreaming…It goes like
this… She imagines them dating, meeting his friends, his parents, his
grandparents. She pictures holiday’s together, romantic walks along the beach.
Kisses shared, engagement proposals, wedding planning, saying their vows to
each other, signing her new surname,, living in the fairytale white picket
fence house where they will have their 2.5 perfect children. They will have the
perfect life together and she will live happily ever after…

The guy, waking up half on/half off his mates couch, with
the taste of dead dog in his mouth; rubs his eyes, scratches his head and thinks
to himself, ‘what a kick ass night’! He cranes himself off the couch, stumbles
to the fridge, searching for any liquid to remove the taste of afore mentioned
dead dog from his mouth. He downs some milk from the carton and heads for the
shower. After a shower, the guy puts on last night’s (somewhat unclean) jeans
as he has planned to go with some mates for a lunch to settle their
hangovers…

The girl, is, at this time, pacing around her house
wondering why he hasn’t called..She justifies to herself that it was in fact a
long night and that maybe he is still asleep. She checks her watch, 2:15..she
knows he can’t still be sleeping but she decides to leave it for a little bit
longer..

The guy is at lunch with his mates, they have a few beers to
settle the hangovers and one of his mates chirps “hey bru, what happened with
that chick from last night hey? She was a belta!” The guy suddenly has a flash
back from the night before and slowly the memories of the girl start creeping
back to him.  “Oh yeah!” he says “Ummm, I
said I would call her sometime. She was kinda cool” and he continues drinking
his beer and chatting to his mates about the massive night before.

By this time it is after 4pm and the girl is feeling so
sorry for herself that she has called for backup – her best mate and a tub of
extra thick ice cream – to console herself! “He is never going to call!” she
sobs to her friend. “Its cos I am fat hey? Or maybe I am just ugly!” Her friend
tries to console her with possible explanations for the guy not having called
yet. The two of them eventually reach the conclusion that he is a loser and she
is better off without him. She is hot and can have any guy she wants. He is a
douchebag and she doesn’t need him…

He gets home from his lunch with the guys, stumbles over to
his couch, switches on some sport and sub-consciously slips his hand into his
pocket. He feels some small, crumpled piece of paper. He pulls it out and low
and behold, there is this girl’s telephone number. He decides to grab the phone
and call her..

It rings! She picks up.. “Howzit babe, it’s me, from
last night. I just wanted to call and see how you doing?”

She has now, by this time, RE-packed the box, killed the 2.5
(imaginary) kids, buried her (imaginary) husband, mourned his (fictional) death
and is in NO mood to be having this conversation on the phone! She doesn’t even
respond. She simply hangs up the phone..

The guy thinks to himself, ‘Ahh crap! I must have been too
wasted to take down the number properly..Oh well’ and he tosses the paper on
the floor and continues watching sport on TV.

How many times in your life do you play out the scenario’s long before they even happen…How many times do you get your hopes up, un pack the box only to be utterly disappointed and have to pack it all back up again?

For me, this happens far too often…not in a relationship sense but in general.

J

Welcome 2015…

Well it would seem that when I went on leave, so did my brain.. I opened this blog  so many times but couldnt find anything worth blogging about.. so I waited…and waited… and waited… and here I am.

Welcome to 2015.. another fresh start with so much ahead and so much behind.

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I thought I would start this year off by writing a list of the top 15 things I want for myself for this year..not resolutions, as I am certain that resolutions are not only a waste of time (no one ever sticks to them) but also because the expectation creates disappointment.

1. I want to find calm this year – calm from the storm of daily slogs, work stresses and the usual day to day worries. Whether that calm comes in the form of a creative outlet or maybe a sport, I NEED to find my calm.

2. I am lucky enough to be in love – To me, there are few things in life as comforting as being in love and being loved in return. I want to spend this year cultivating that feeling. Working on the necessary and worrying less about the unnecessary.

3. Less is more. Or is it? – Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our day to day lives, that we seldom stop to do “the little things”, the quality things.. We watch too much TV and talk too little. We sleep more and miss life happening right outside the door.. So I want to find a good balance between doing less of the things that arent good for me and getting more from my life, my relationships with friend and family, my work..

4. Time – I want to find new way to spend time, make time, stop time and appreciate more moments in time. This is a hard one. Time is such a sly thing. You think you have it, you waste it and before you know it, it’s flown by and gone.

5. Be there – I want to be present. I want to stop worrying about tomorrow and live in today. I want to be present in as many wonderful and amazing memories as I possibly can this year.

6. Take more photo’s- I love photo’s. I dont like being in them but I love taking them. I see so much beauty in the world around me and I take as many mental images as I can but I worry that one day, the memories become cloudy. I want hard copies so I can always remind myself of the real beauty that still exists in the world around me.

7. Laugh! REALLY laugh – I want to laugh, freely, easily and confidently. I want to laugh at myself more too.

8. Acceptance – I spend so much time being disappointed in the way things “should be”.. the way I believe things are “supposed to be”.. but who sets those parameters? Who says that things arent exactly how they are “supposed to be”. I want to accept that thing are nothing more than THE WAY THEY ARE. That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less. Instead of worrying about what “should have been” or how I “could have” done more/less in certain situations, I want to look back at situations in my life which I feel are less than ideal and accept that they are what they are.

9. JUMP! – For most of my life, I have always prided myself on being responsible. At my 21st there werent any reckless drinking, skinny dipping, petty stealing or embarrassing stories to tell. At the time, I thought “Yay me! I am such a good girl”…looking back, almost a decade later, I think to myself…”How much did I miss out on?” How many times did I say NO instead of YES, HELL YES!! I have never been a reckless person and I think thats in my nature, but missing out on fun is definitely something about myself I want to change. Instead of weighing up the options and worrying about the consequences, I want to close my eyes, clench my fists and just JUMP! Where I land, well..I’ll work it out when I get there I suppose.

10. Phone a friend – I have friends. I love my friends, each in their own unique way. But I am not sure if they know that. I want to make more of an effort this year to cultivate the relationships I have with my friends. I want to be able to phone a friend at any time and know they’ll always be there for me. That kind of “knowing” comes from investing time and effort into people. I did too little of it in 2014 and I have, as I have gotten a bit older, realised how terrible it really is.

11. Desire vs Obligation – I have to admit that I cheated on this one a little bit, as I already started doing this in the latter half of 2014. Without getting into too much detail, I am the type of person who spent a VERY long time being a people pleaser. Always doing “the right thing” even if I didnt agree with it. Being the “bigger person” when I knew I wasnt in the wrong. Being obligated to talk to people I no longer like, making an effort with people who no longer make an effort with me, all under the guise of “rising above it”. NO MORE. I will no longer invest time in people and situations that dont hold any value to me any more. I wont be going to parties because I am obliged to attend. I wont be wishing people a Happy Birthday if they didnt bother to wish me. Friends and family who have “opted out” of the relationship with me will be left behind, along with the other disappointments from my past. I will no longer chase after people and force relationships with people who cant be bothered to reciprocate. It’s hard to let go of something that at one time was what you really wanted but in order for any relationship to be successful, it has come from both sides. If it doesnt meet me half way, even a quarter or the way, it’s gone!

12. Let it go – Another one I cheated on and started last year. Sometimes, in disagreements, fights or arguments with people. I become fixated. You know one of those people that just cant drop it. Guilty as charged. I HATE it about myself. I know I do it. I wish I could stop it but sometimes, I get SO caught up in things, I forget to forget it. It started to affect certain aspects of my life and so I woke up one morning, after almost losing someone I love very much and realised that if I dont let IT go, I am going to have to let HIM go; and the one wasnt worth risking the other for. So I let it go. I was told many years ago, (and I never listened) that in life, we need to pick our battles. Some things just arent worth fighting over or fighting for. It seems like it took FOREVER to sink in..but it has. It isnt an easy one to do and I almost always have to have a word with myself about it, but I am doing it and it’s yielding GREAT results.

13. M.O.H – My sister is getting married in less than 9 months and I was lucky enough to be asked to be her Maid Of Honour (MO.H). I am blown away that she asked me and so grateful she did. I want to be the BEST M.O.H possible. This means getting my ass back into the gym (again not a resolution but a goal with a purpose). This means, wedding expo’s cake tastings, dress fittings, menu’s, place settings, decorations, planning……………………………………………..My sister says the planning part is endless.. SIGN ME UP! I am gonna be a kick ass M.O.H

14. Be Kind – to everyone wherever I can..but mostly, to myself, ALWAYS

15. FIND THE MAGIC!!

Here’s hoping that 2015 allows me to do all the above and so much more…

J

Then it happened…

The day I dreaded for most of the last year.. My 30th birthday…

WOW! What a jol!

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face..totally opposite of how I anticipated feeling. I expected to wake up with a hollow pit in my stomach at my thought if having entered into my 30’s officially,, luckily, it was nothing like that!

What a great day..I was showered with calls, messages, FB post, emails, gifts and most of all love..

Some pics from the party…

 

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I left my 20’s with a BIG BANG! I partied til 8 am the next day! Slept for three hours and then went to a 1 year old’s party..

A weekend to remember! Thanks to all my friends and family for making it a day and night to remember..and to my Q, I have no words other than I LOVE YOU

LOOK at my prezzies~ Guess who’s going to Michael Buble’ – Meeeeeeeeee **insert happiest face ever**

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J

 

Top 20’s – Day 4 (A little over due, WHOOPS!!)

So today is my 30th Birthday.. I have been dreading this day for so long but waking up this morning actually felt pretty good and came with my 5 final highlights of my 20’s..even though they are a day late 🙂

1. After being so concerned about turning 30, I have realised that 30 isnt actually that old and that the entire latter half of my 20’s I walked around feeling so old. It was only today that I realised I havent been nearly as old as I thought I was, or as I thought I had to be…

2. I was driving to work this morning and I realised, I am GLAD to be rid of my 20’s..they were a cocktail of heart ache, tears, stress and strife. They were also a mixture of love, laughter and a lot of really great times.. But GOODBYE 20’s!!

3. Turning 30 starts a brand new clean slate..I get to colour my canvas however I choose using all the brush strokes, paint techniques and shades I learnt about in my 20’s. A clean, fresh start to do whatever I want! And I have a whole decade to do it in before the next milestone of my life..that in itself, is exciting!

4. I have planned a party for tonight to say goodbye to my 20’s surrounded by my friends and family and I usually dont feel like partying any more but TODAY I am excited!

5. I am over all just grateful! I have love in my life and my heart. I have my health. I have friends and family who are irreplaceable.. I may not have millions in the bank but my life is full and rich and I am grateful for all of it..

BRING ON MY 30’s!!

J

Top 20’s – Day 3

Nearing the end of my Top 20’s…

1. I travelled to a few places which were amazing.. I travelled to Australia a few times and travelled around Australia while I was there. I also went on an amazing holiday to Bali.. let me say, if you can deal with humidity, Bali is one of the most magnificent places I have been to thus far!

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2. One of the hardest things anyone can go through is the loss of a friend or loved one.. I  wouldnt wish it on anyone and I certainly dont look forward to going through it again, even though I know it is an inevitable part of life. And I know it may seem strange that losing someone close to me is being listed in my highlights of my 20’s but until recently, I had never lost anyone close to me ..in that I could say I was fortunate. But recently, a great man in my life passed from Cancer. As I said, I have never had to experience this kind of loss.. As devastating as it is and has been, and while I think of him daily, the loss of people makes you realise how important it is to cherish those that are still around.. Those that you perhaps have taken for granted from time to time..it really is true that you dont realise what you have until you lose it.. The loss is hard but the memories and the smile that crosses my face when I think of him is something which warms my heart..for that I am grateful. To have known him. To have been part of his life and to always have the ability to sit and reflect on some amazing times shared with him..

Screenshot_2014-07-28-13-37-17-13. The early part of my 20’s was a tough time for me..it was a time when my family life seemed to be a mess and I couldnt find happiness in very much.. But as I have made the relevant changes and closed the chapters on the negatives in my life… I have laughed. REALLY laughed! Never underestimate the power of laughing.. It is so good for the soul.. I have been fortunate enough to spend some time with amazing people in various situations and shared belly aching laughs.. Never forget to laugh.. at others, at yourself..

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4. Following from 3, I have learnt to laugh at myself. Like I mentioned, I used to be VERY serious. Too serious in fact. Over time I have lightened up a lot and in the latter part of my 20’s I have learnt not to take myself so seriously.. Life is too short to be too serious and so I laugh..at myself and it feels great!

5. I know myself.. Until recently, I was never confident about who I am.. If what I thought or believed was going to be okay for the people around me.. But after having made so many changes and re-shifting my focus, I have realised that I am who I am. A fully functioning adult woman who has thoughts and feelings and beliefs and those that care for me in any regard will either accept me as I am, whether they agree with me or not; or they wont.. either way, I am okay with it..and THAT has made an entire world of difference to how I face each and every day!

Be-Who-You-Are-and-Say-What-you-Feel

J

Top 20’s – Day 2

Following from my post yesterday… here is the next set of 5 of my top 20’s from my 20’s.

Highlights:

1. Living on my own.. Paying rent can often be a b*tch but to have the space and the freedom to do what YOU want was a truly great experience from my 20’s. Having to learn to budget, or how to fix things around the house on your own. Remembering to buy toilet paper..Sometimes it cab be incredibly hard to live on your own. I moved into my very first place when I was 21 and it was such a liberating experience; as difficult as things got from time to time..there was no other feeling like it.. No one really understands how awesome it is to be independent until they do it. I was scared and worried about all the things that could go wrong..until I finally spent my first night in my own place, alone. It was a kind of lost, liberating freedom that I dont think people get to experience too often in life. But I loved it! Now Cuan and I live together and I couldnt imagine not having him around but that initial “I live on my own” feeling was definitely a highlight in my 20’s.

images2. Realising value where it had been overlooked before. I lived with my aunt and uncle and two cousins for about 5 years when my father moved to Australia in 2002. Living with them came with it’s challenges for both me and for them. Their children were a lot younger than me and so they had never raised a teenager and for me, having grown up with a very “liberal” father, I wasnt used to the curfew, the rules and the functionality of living in a family home environment. About 5 years ago, my aunt, uncle and two cousins moved to Port Elizabeth and I dont see then nearly as often as I would like to and I miss so many things about having them a few minutes drive away. When you’re younger, you take things for granted..you assume things will always stay the same… until they dont. So cherish the things that mean a lot to you. We keep in touch where we can but I wish we were closer..

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3.Realising that FAMILY doesnt only mean blood.. That was a MASSIVE one for me in my 20’s. Some of the people I choose to share my life life with are family that I have chosen, not necessarily connected by blood but by love and THAT is invaluable. Choosing these people or being chosen by them has been such a sense of security, comfort and love which has given me so much more than I thought I could get from a family… I am truly lucky.

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4. I made a life long friend in my 20’s who helped me, guided me and provided me with comfort, friendship and unwavering support. We dont talk daily, even monthly..sometimes we can go 6 months without a word. But I know in my heart that he will always always be my friend and if I ever need him, he will drop everything to help me. Friends like that are exceptionally rare..and I have one 🙂

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5. Number 5 is kinda the same as 4 but 4 needed it’s own special mention… In my 20’s a met a group of girls who became like my family.. I loved them all like sisters.. there were the obvious fights and tears but those girls were largely responsible for some of the best nights and days in my 20’s and although my decision to change and leave that part of my life behind, unfortunately included them, I am grateful for the laughs, the tears and all the insane crazy beautiful madness in between.

J